Archive for Communication – Page 2

You ARE The Reality Show – in real-time

I just read Gary Vaynerchuk’s book “Crush It” and many of his messages resonated with me in terms of the priorities I live by as well as the priorities I ask my clients to adopt.

…”love your family, work hard, live your passion”

Using that as a filter for each and every decision you make will make a difference in your life.  What struck me while reading his book, in addition to the online business advice, was his talk about legacy.  The words that kept popping into my head were “Reality Show”.

In the last 15 years, the internet has shortened the miles between us and Web2.0 has opened up global interaction like never before.  We are reaching farther, communicating more and great ideas are being shared in ways we never imagined.  It is important to remember, though, that every object casts a shadow and there is one point I would like to make.

Every single interaction that goes into writing is YOUR own personal reality show.

Here are a few lessons I have learned over the years to help you make certain what you put out there you can indeed live with.

  1. From my grandmother – ‘Never put anything in writing you don’t want to repeat in court’ – this advice is older than I would like to admit, but it stands relevant for today.  What you put out there onto the internet will remain forever.  Be it email, video, written comments, complaints, words of wisdom – all if it has the potential to be shared with the world – will you still be proud of it 5, 10, 20 years from now?
  2. From my Mother – ‘Be impeccable with your words’ – careful respect for how you speak to someone is important. Each and every person deserves respect, no matter who they are, where they come from or how they intersect with your life.
  3. Witnessed in the workplace – ‘You are an ambassador of your workplace, act like it.’ – How you speak about the business for which you work can become seriously career-limiting.  Are customers your friends on Facebook? Are you twittering about how much you hate your job? Are you putting yourself liable for being fired or worse based on client loss due to a few typed sentences?

HR departments are now using search tools to find out more about you before they hire you.  Does what you post reflect who you are, or even, who you say you are to places you are applying.

Companies are now doing careful searches for their company names, and chances are they know what you are saying.  If you don’t believe they have the granular tools to do so, stop kidding yourself.

Your own name is being searched by girl and boy friend’s parents, volunteer organizations, sports clubs, and more.

Have I always been proud of what is out there under my name? No, one living post just makes me look like I am not very bright and another one highlights some pretty poor writing skills from many years ago.  What is interesting, is that I have made attempts (about the not-so-bright post on a certain website)to have it removed, but to no avail. (if you happen to have nothing but time, go crazy searching, I’d love to know what more is out there.)

What kind of Reality Show are you providing to the world, what kind of legacy are you leaving? It is something you can be proud of and speaks positively about who you are? Or as Gary Vaynerchuk mentions, is it something you want your grandchildren to read?

Last thought: a photograph speaks a thousand words.

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It's All About Your Attitude!

What can your team trust from you?

Have you ever walked into a place of employment and a co-worker seems to be having a really horrible day?  They walk with their shoulders down, cannot FORCE a smile on their face and are unable to speak with much enthusiasm or energy in their voice?  You INSTANTLY know something is wrong.

We all have bad days, life hits all of us in ways we least expect.  Just when we think we have mastered our insecurities, they will rise up from the ashes like a phoenix rising from the fire.

That’s life.

It’s what we least expect, circumstances changing our lives in a split second or tragedy striking us with unforeseen force.  What we seem to forget is that these things happen to all of us.  Some in greater degree than others, but overall, life is an ever changing unexpected journey that giggles at our best laid plans.

What strikes me as fascinating, and a study of human nature for many, is the vast difference in the manner in which people RESPOND to those events.  One person will have been affected by a tragedy and is empowered to turn it into a motivation to make a difference for others.  Another person will experience a similar event and pack it into their curio cabinet of ills and frustrations in life. They’ll take each item out and polish it once a week looking at it and then accumulate more as if they are collecting evidence in a court case.

In a discussion earlier this week with a client, we chatted about emotional intelligence and its connection to both maturity and the ability to develop positive responses.  I have a friend named Janine Shepherd, who will be the first person to tell you this;

“Life is ten percent what you take from it and ninety percent what you make of it.”

Janine has experienced a story like few others, (her book ‘Never Tell Me Never’) describes a tragedy striking with brute force and in a split second her entire life changed – without warning or gentility – life tossed her a bigger curve-ball than most of us ever expect to deal with.  But with grace, humour and resounding intelligence Janine embraced the life she was gifted and has turned it around into a story few people can walk away from without it inspiring and motivating them to reconsider the manner in which they respond to life’s twists.

There is something about Janine that I noticed right away – breathing air is exhilarating for her.  She loves her life and everyone she meets.  She enthusiastically approaches her ‘everyday’ with the kind of happiness and enthusiasm one recalls from early childhood.  No one would guess that she came back from the verge of leaving this earth, struggling through a full-body cast, learning to take her first painful step after step when she was told she might very well never walk again.  If you met Janine you would never guess that her Winter Olympic dreams had been shattered one day by a truck hitting her on a training bike ride.

Meeting Janine (online, not in person yet) was a defining moment in my life, it’s when I experienced another example of true beauty and that is the strength of character to never let anyone tell you who you are or what you cannot do.

She is an exceptional model for leaders who might be tempted, (as I am some days) to allow little things to get to us, and allow our responses to express moping or depressing behaviour.  She is a beautiful reminder to me every day that I awake in the mornings breathing air and have a wonderful opportunity to turn my day, my life my experiences into anything I choose.

For leaders this is a powerful message.  As a friend I can trust Janine to be strong and courageous and have fun doing it.  With 3 additional books and a whole lot of energy, Janine proves to us that the human spirit can choose to take a higher path and present itself to the world in a positive and encouraging way.

Leader, what can your team trust from you?

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Customer Response and Resolution? You Decide.

Due to a busy couple of weeks I’ve neglected the blog, but feel it imperative I offer a follow-up to the Rogers cell phone story.  I’d like to say my own behaviour with Rogers was of the utmost grace and decorum, but the truth is by the time I spoke with someone in authority I was pure ‘ticked off’.  What really struck a chord is the fact it took a public blog before any attention at all was called to this very frustrated customer.

Timeline of Events:

  • 5 Customer Service Representatives who never once clued -in that escalation would be a good idea. When I asked if there was nothing more I could do, they ALL said ‘yes’.
  • Initial tweets were not picked up by social media ‘watchers’ on Twitter before I posted a blog.
  • The Blog drew an enormous amount of attention- many similar negative stories and offers of help from Roger’s competitors.
  • I purchased a phone privately from Kijiji –Rogers “sent it to them for free at their upgrade time but that they did not need it.” (I found that fascinating.)
  • Unfortunately because I had a smart phone I only had a data plan, not a Blackberry plan.  I then spent another entire morning with customer service reps 6 & 7 finding out that I needed to change my plan before the phone woud be operable.
  • I was still on hold with customer service when Rogers finally called in response to the blog (Toronto office).

Talk about your “Shaggy Dog” story – it just seemed to go on forever.  I’ll stick with the phone story and try and avoid going into the ‘lost revenue and business time” saga! (I consult by the hour – can’t get that client time back)

What Worked:

  • When I finally spoke with someone who could help, they recognized the change in data plan would cost me additional funds (more even than a new phone already cost me). A discount of 5.00/mo was given for the additional cost.
  • I got to vent a bit about how this is customer clean-up NOT customer service based on the fact I needed to go public before I EVER got attention.

Things I would never say to a customer:

  • “We go to great expense to provide those free phones up front, we cannot give everything away” – hmm, then you should not be in business, because good business people build their costs into a package.
  • “Our customer service people have to deal with 10 more people just like you once you hang up” – last time I checked, customer service was about caring about the customer you are serving at the moment, especially if they are frustrated.
  • “If you go to our website you will find our escalation policy and could have done that before posting a blog” – That is going to take a LOT of training to get the entire Canadian public to understand how to best escalate an issue.  I wonder if a company might be better off limiting that training to the customer service representatives and offer them clues as to when THEY can escalate an issue.  I struggled to connect with the right CSR multiple times, my expectation was they would indicate a process and simply ask, would you like this to be escalated? I had no idea it was MY job to find out their escalation policy.

No answers or conversations seemed to focus on the real point.  I bought a data plan with Rogers.  The LCD on my data phone stopped functioning correctly.  At no point during my plan was I told my data phone would be obsolete and I would be forced to upgrade to a $4-600.00 BlackBerry and a different plan if my phone was broken. Nor was I informed that even though I HAD a data plan, the only phones available to me would be non-data phones.  I’d like to think if I worked at the company, I would recognize the real issue.

If you offer a service/product (in this case a smart phone data plan) and within that contract your lost or broken program cannot provide the same service or product as agreed to in the beginning, you as a company should be liable to take the lead in finding a solution. Rogers did not provide any smartphones for my data plan at this point in my contract.  BUT according to Rogers, the problem is all mine.  I am stuck with THEIR provision of this service (even though they can no longer provide what they agreed to in the beginning) and any solution is a new phone at full (or close to full) cost at my own expense or to downgrade to a non-data phone but still pay the data fee as per the contract.  If I try removing myself from the contract I pay a hefty penalty – but they hold no such accountability.

I am still with Rogers only because I did not wish to pay that penalty and throw my money in the trash.  The loss of time, money and patience is now history – but serves as a great model of what NOT to do in my own company and with my own clients.  Will I renew with Rogers? Time will tell, I will definitely ask many more questions of any provider next time I agree to a contract.  Do they need a better customer service solution – indeed I think they do.

In this case, a free phone was only a ‘hook’ to gaining an initial contract – certainly discounted phones are not used as a  solution to maintaining service and keeping a customer who likes to be loyal to the companies with whom she has chosen to spend her money.

(Update: August 31, 2009 – Call from “Office of the President” at Roger’s with additional discount to account to say sorry for the experience.  This individual was polite, considerate, wants to use these posts as an example for continued front-line training and apologized quite a few times.  It is clear that they are doing what they can in the aftermath of this particular situation. I hope his optimistic description of the changes they wish to make on the front-lines does materialize for the benefit of other customers so they can avoid an experience like this altogether.)

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Giving Customer Service STARTS with Caring About The Customer

This is a long one folks!

 Giving Customer Service STARTS with Caring About The CustomerI ‘ve spent WAY too much time on the phone today, but not with friends, family or clients.  Instead, I’ve been on the phone with my cell phone provider, Rogers.  Rogers Canada is one of the largest providers in the country alongside competitors Telus and Bell (but not for long). The story I tell is of a customer service perspective and I will try to be as fair as possible but I have to admit my emotional frustration has gotten the best of me, not to mention the loss of income for taking a full day to deal with this ridiculous issue.

January of 2008 I purchased a plan through Futureshop under the provider Rogers.  I selected Rogers because at the time I needed a SIM card and Telus did not provide one.  Wanting a BlackBerry I was talked out of it by a Futureshop employee who convinced me the HTC Smartphone was my best bet .  I was also looking for a business plan so I could access email and internet when not in the office.  I have never been so sorry to own this HTC Smartphone as I am today.  I have 1.5 yrs. left to go before my cell phone plan is up.

Fast forward to last week, and the LCD screen on my phone decided to fade and disappear. (see photo) Trust me I am not swinging my purse around like a crazy person, although I am close to tossing the phone in the trash right now! I decide I will take it back to Futureshop to see what they can do for me and this is where my time-consuming expensive little night-mare begins.

Attempt  #1. Much waiting –  for the staff to eat their icecream and stop chatting and a smile-less young person finally decides to help me and can only give me this answer:  “Rogers does not offer ANY discounts for you for another data phone, only a regular phone, because you bought an HTC Smartphone.”  HUH, your shop talked me into a Smartphone that Rogers will NOT support?

So Futureshop is telling me Rogers says although I HAVE a dataphone, I cannot get an ‘upgrade’ on a data phone until the cell phone plan has surpassed two years?  All I am qualified for is a regular phone unless I spend the 599.95 for the Blackberry they have in stock.  I also discover that the young person who sold me the phone in the first place did NOT register it as a company plan like I thought.  (Okay, I should read my papers more carefully, but I simply did not realize I did not have a corporate plan given he wrote down my company name and corporate number when I bought it.)

I think, okay, calm down now, surely this is a limitation of the Futureshop person acting as a Rogers Rep – Certainly if I talk to Rogers I can clear this up because they won’t want to lose me as a customer.  I will simply go home and call Rogers myself!

Attempt #2. Call to Rogers:

  • Nice fellow by the name of Bruce informs me there are no upgrades at all to another dataphone for the HTC Smartphone until I have waited out my 2 year mark. Had I bought a Blackberry I  would be eligible after only 1 year. (Does HTC know that Rogers does not offer as good support for the Smartphone as they do the Blackberry?)
  • I have an important point: I bought a phone WITH a plan. If Rogers did not feel the phone would last out the life of the plan, (evidenced by their lack of support for it) then they shouldn’t be selling it as a package deal.
  • I also find out that Cancelling this cell phone plan will cost me 500.00holy cow! Does that mean this plan was worth 1000.00 when I got it because I am halfway through?
  • They can put me into a nice little LG phone but without data. (does HTC know that I bought an HTC plan but they are promoting a “downgrade” to a non-data LG phone? Not to mention, I am paying for a data plan, damn it! I want to receive my email here)
  • He wants to help but his hands are tied, I ask about upgrading my plan to a better one so they will support a better phone option. He suggests I call the business and corporate customer service. I try, they are not open nights or weekends (of course not, because that would involve customer service).
  • I have to wait until Monday.  I’m busy Monday (people have to work) so tried Tuesday not because I don’t have to work, but because I need a working cell phone and PDA.

Attempt #3.  Call to Rogers on Tuesday:

  • I dial the only number I can find online and it takes me to a nice girl named Suma, who is polite but needs to be reminded to speak into her headset 3 times because I cannot hear her.
  • Suma gives me the exact same answers above, but adds some additional information:
  • The only way they can upgrade me is if I purchase a Blackberry and yes, they will give me a discount:
    • BB9000=549.00; BB8900=449.99; BB8310=399.00; BB8220=349.99
    • Why does that not feel like a discount?  WOW no matter what I do the fact my HTC smartphone could NOT outlast my phone plan will cost me anywhere from 349.00 to 500.00.  Hmmm, Rogers, was this your plan all along?
    • I am not satisfied because I feel these are rather expensive options considering I can purchase an unlocked Rogers supported phone online for less than 200.00 from Kijiji.com and simply stick my SIM card into it – but wait- I want to give Rogers another chance.  I am frustrated but I ask – “What if I were to upgrade to the business account I wanted in the first place, would that make a difference?”
    • She passes me over to someone in the Business and Corporate (finally).

Attempt #4. Business and Corporate at Rogers

  • I did not document this person’s name.  But he was trying to be nice.  I warned him that I am not frustrated with him personally, but that I am very frustrated and I am very angry with Rogers.  I must go over the entire story again, explaining myself several times because he was not understanding what I want.
  • I wanted to know if Rogers would back the combination phone/phone plan by offering me a solution that did not break the bank and kept me as a loyal customer.
  • He told me EXACTLY what the others did, with the addition of one more piece of information that amounts to this:  Options that come up on his screen are limited to how much money I have spent in the past with Rogers.
  • Now I am outright angry! Does this mean I am worthless as a customer to them because I don’t spend bigger bucks?
  • This fellow suggests I try customer care AGAIN.

Attempt #5. Rogers Customer Care

  • I tell this nice fellow, James, that I am getting very upset ,am more than frustrated and I do not believe that Rogers cares to keep me as a customer.  I am hoping he can provide me with better answers to prove otherwise. He is exceptionally considerate, does all the digging he can because I share with him the following information:
    • If I cancel my plan paying the 500.00 penalty, go with another provider and get the top-of-the-line Blackberry I will save myself 50.00 or more than any options at Rogers.
    • If I go online and hunt down an unlocked Rogers Blackberry for a HUGE discount, ride out my plan and move on in 1.5 years, Rogers does not get any upgrade dollars from me at all and I vow to find a different service.
    • Frustration builds as I never do get an answer about upgrading to a better plan, perhaps a business plan.  They all seem to want to keep me right where I am, stuck between a rock and a hard-place.
    • He repeats all of the identical information I have already learned and basically agrees with me that my best bet if I want to save costs is to go elsewhere or get a used BB from someone.
    • Poor fellow was stuck between being loyal and trying to show me he was very understanding.

Attempt #5. Rogers Customer Care

  • By this time I am so ticked off I just want to limit any thing I have to do with Rogers.  I realize I have one more question to which I need an answer:  I speak with a girl. “What will it cost if I remove the data plan from my phone and go with the least expensive cell phone plan?”
    • This means removing my 200/unlimited Eve/Weekend Plan
    • Removing the Data Service plan (it’s only 2MB as it is)
    • Taking off the “Smartphone Value Pack” (Goodness knows why I would keep THAT)
    • The girl lets me know my plan would be reduced to 32.00/month BUT there is a hitch – of course there is!
    • The cancellation of my data package will cost me 100.00.  WHAT??
    • Unbelievable , this is the icing on the cake!  They WILL NOT provide a decent discount on a comparable data phone only a regular cell without data BUT THEY ARE PENALIZING me for cancelling the ‘data’ part of my plan? You have GOT to be kidding me!

ROGERS!  Shame on you!

Listen, I don’t want it for free, but my expectation is this:

If I have a data plan I cannot get out of without a penalty, then at least put a data phone on your list of possible ‘upgrades’!

Do yourself a favour.  Check out the internet for other stories about Rogers before you choose to buy! I wish I had.

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Getting Too Big For Your Britches?

 Getting Too Big For Your Britches?It’s a tough road out there in business, one must work incredibly hard to “get somewhere” and once one arrives it can be hard to maintain the momentum it takes to remain at the top.

One of the risks a company faces as they find themselves at “the top” is client demand of the entrepreneur increases.  As that client base increases visibility strengthens and larger clients begin to emerge.  It is pretty damn exciting to find yourself sipping champagne and celebrating large contracts and a new focus.  But what of the clients who got you there, the small folks who took a risk and used your products or services sight-unseen?

Last week as I visited my folks, I learned they’d sprung a leak in their pool house. I don’t know anything about pools but my thought is leak=bad. For 3 days my father had been calling the pool company who services their pool and finally got an answer the morning I arrived.  “We can come in 5 days” was the answer.

EXCUSE ME?

It seems they were the only pool shop in town for a number of years and folks in town truly supported the company growth. The municipality have now signed maintenance contracts with the pool company and so business has changed from a shop where you can walk in off the street and call at anytime to an organization with closed access, no street presence and clearly choosing not to answer the phone if the caller ID suggests it is not someone to whom they care to respond.

OUCH! The pool company gave no notice to the existing clients with “new rules of the game” and no other options were provided.  They have become too big for their britches.

My folks are truly great people.  They love to support local businesses and while that’s honorable they sometimes do so at the expense of the customer service for which they are paying.  Success for this company is always something to celebrate, especially in times like this, but the company has not done their homework in understanding how to deal with the loyal customers who brought them that success.

Leadership does not mean treating ‘old’ customers as a nuisance just because you’ve changed your business direction.

The bonus here is another small start-up pool business now exists in town, finally. Five minutes after calling the first company, my dad called the new pool company.  Voila! “Sir, I will have someone there this morning to take a look” was the cheerful response. Within 3 hours the problem was solved.

If you were the first company, how might you have managed your loyal customers upon changing your company direction?

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A Bad Day At The Office

Do you ever feel like your job is too chaotic to manage?  Here is a video that will offer a little perspective and give you purposeful thought about keeping your calm when you least have the patience to do it.

In fact, I have worked in the past with a few folks I might suggest having a link to this video on your desktop so on chaotic days you remember how to maintain your cool!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyO-bWGxWBU&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01&border=1]

Great Leaders maintain calm in Chaos!

Strategic Sense is a Leadership Development, Customer Service, Plans of Action and Facilitation organization who’s mission is to change the world for the better for leaders and their employees everywhere.  We believe each individual comes with their own unique talents and skills that can be enhanced and utilized to help them become the very best leaders only they can be while providing exceptional service to their customers.

Contact:  So many options… we’re happy to hear from you!

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Your "Attention Radar" – Choosing Your Focus

 Your "Attention Radar"   Choosing Your FocusHave you ever taken training or coaching where someone was working hard to gift you with gems of wisdom or a different way of looking at things?  Do you know if you were truly open to the information being given?

One of the most difficult situations is when a coach or mentor is trying hard to move you forward and your door is closed!

A great way to tell if you’re being receptive is to listen to your own response.  The next time someone – a coach, boss, trainer, or mentor – is making a concerted effort to encourage change, try to acknowledge that they have a different view you might not be seeing.  Then ask yourself if you are actually leaving the door open enough to receive the gems of wisdom they offer.

  1. Are you taking time to hear what they are saying and turning it into a lesson to be utilized in your own life?
  2. Do you respond by defending the behaviours that keep you from moving forward?
  3. Do you use expressions such as “I DO that, but it never works.” Or “I try, but….” or “I AM…”
  4. Do you leap to conclusions about what others think of you, even though it’s not actuallywhat they were saying?
  5. Do you hold tightly to beliefs that are clearly holding you back?

If so, then you might very well be trapped in a cyclical thought pattern based on buried beliefs and while you think the doors are open to hearing and recognizing opportunity and growth, they may very well be closed.

So, what’s really going on here?

Neuroscience has performed studies on an area in the brain called the Reticular Activating System or RAS.  The RAS acts as a sort-of connector between your conscious and unconscious mind and filters information by “listening out for” things that are relevant to your conscious thoughts and focus.  Basically, it controls our ability to pay attention. For example, when you are walking down the street there are literally hundreds of thousands of noises.  You might hear a vibration or hum of noise in the background but you do not hear each and every individual sound, only those for which your focus is attuned, but it has it’s limits.  Your brain is programmed to take in approx 5-9 individual items at a time and you hone in on those items because focus on them has been programmed by your conscious mind providing the “attention radar” for your unconscious mind.

A car horn signalling danger; familiar music coming from a store; your name being called from the other side of the street; all of these are items your subconscious will listen to because they are out of the ordinary in a typical walk and your conscious mind has made them a relevant focus in your life. Equally so, inadequecy or feelings of being persecuted or judged will fly into the face of a discussion if your belief system has been built under the experience of having to continually defend yourself. Basically you are ‘looking for it’ and so you will find it.

What great information for all of us –the beautiful thing neuroscience teaches us here is that the Reticular Activating System can be reprogrammed, or you can change what you are ‘looking for’.  This is why setting goals, saying affirmations and visualizing ìn the conscious are the beginning of the journey to realizing our dreams because they speak to our unconscious mind, the place-holder for our belief systems.

Learning how to listen and embrace information with an open heart and mind can be done with practice and by learning strategies and techniques for reprogramming your RAS. The first step is in recognizing if you are listening openly, take a few minutes to evaluate your recent conversations against the above list – are you truly open?  If not, then you will benefit from learning strategies for discovering and challenging belief systems that hold you back and practicing techniques to reprogram your RAS thus putting the “attention radar” on that which will help you grow and move forward.

Strategic Sense is a Leadership Development, Customer Service, Plans of Action and Facilitation organization who’s mission is to change the world for the better for leaders and their employees everywhere.  We believe each individual comes with their own unique talents and skills that can be enhanced and utilized to help them become the very best leaders only they can be while providing exceptional service to their customers.

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Why You Think I Am Wrong And What I Have To Say About It.

The thing about being an adult in an adult work world is that we’re forced to deal with many things we may find unpleasant or stressful.  Communication between people takes many forms and can be interpreted in many ways.  Ideally, we would live in a world where every person with whom we communicated would understand our intentions and not interpret them badly.  Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

We are emotional human beings with egos, and we are adamant about protecting our viewpoints because we believe we are right.  When communication comes our way, our response is typically based upon a reaction to our own view point and when that viewpoint is challenged, we often focus on the parts that anger us rather than the true message behind the communication.

How we respond to communication in our work and personal environments is a clear indicator of our respect for the viewpoint offered us, or how we respect the communicator themselves.  Reponses packed with anger, frustration and hurt will put a stop to a relationship very quickly.  This kind of a response can be so damaging it can take years to repair the relationship.

Here are a few tips on dealing with difficult discussions in your life.  You’ll want to jot them down somewhere, you see you live in the real world and will be forced to deal with difficult discussions frequently.

  • Avoid Public Responses - A response to a difficult conversation or written communication should remain private. Sure, tell a confidant or two if you need to vent, but until you have calmed down and queried the person about their intent behind the discussion, you are reacting blindly and immaturely. Posting an angry note on Facebook will likely lose you the relationship or get you fired.
  • Analyze The Whole Communication - If you are upset about a conversation or a written communication, try these steps:
    • What parts make you angry? Why does it make you angry? Then explain to the other person in a very calm manner exactly how you interpreted what they said, and ask for clarification. Avoid arguing, listen!
    • Work hard to find the hidden gems of wisdom they’re trying to impart, focus on any compliments or positive statements they have tried to convey, rather than letting your anger focus on a single word or perceived slight.
    • If you are truly right, you will have no problem calmly building a compelling case to prove your point. Answer any questions they may have asked rather than lashing out to hurt them back, there is a good chance they were not trying to hurt you at all. Give them a reason to support your viewpoint!
    • Keep your anger private, being outwardly pissed off, rather than dealing with the person directly only proves YOUR immaturity, rather than their insensitivity.
  • Maintain Respect - Most people who initiate difficult conversations do so because they feel they have a significant stake in the topic or success regarding the issue being discussed. It’s extremely tough to initiate a difficult discussion. A person may already have lost sleep, poured over the written form, and feel vulnerable by exposing a challenge or expressing an opinion they know will create heated response. They do it because they care and believe, like you do, that they are right. The ideal situation is to have the issues put on the table and discussed maturely so the two of you can come to an understanding. Be respectful enough to the relationship to treat the other person with consideration and thoughtfulness.

Wanting to become a leader, striving to excel in any environment or hoping to launch your career will be dependent on the relationships you build and your reactions to difficult situations.  If you struggle to handle conflict or difficult discussions in your personal relationships, it is almost a given you will struggle in the same manner in your work environment.  Becoming a manager or leader of any kind of business will require you to practice and hone the skill of conflict resolution .  Your future career or possible future promotions will be based upon your ability to take on the tough stuff, not the easy and inspired tasks.

Life is not all about what makes us feel good, but rather our attitude and response to all life has to offer, good, bad, challenging, beautiful, difficult, tragic, and amazing!  Are you willing to accept all that life has to offer and respond to it maturely with a positive attitude that builds relationships or do you really believe life is supposed to hand you all happiness and ease?

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You Are Worthy of A Pause!

I was working with a client yesterday who is talented, driven and efficient. This client is one of those people who, if you added them to your team, would make the world a better place and get it done in half the time while managing to do it in a way that serves others. This client is also exhausted.

For many people the serving of others is often at the expense of self and they’re willing to go past the boundaries which keep them energized and enthusiastic. I’m talking about crossing personal boundaries as we react to each and every request with immediate response. This reactionary serving creates chaos and confusion and certainly does not help maintain balance.

One of the ways in which I suggest to people to add balance is to learn that you are WORTHY of a pause!

Webster’s Open Dictionary shows the following meaning for the word pause (noun):

1: a temporary stop

2 a: a break in a verse b: a brief suspension of the voice to indicate the limits and relations of sentences and their parts

3: temporary inaction especially as caused by uncertainty : hesitation

4 a: the sign denoting a fermata b: a mark (as a period or comma) used in writing or printing to indicate or correspond to a pause of voice

5: a reason or cause for pausing (as to reconsider) <a thought that should give one pause>

Here are some tips for adding pause into your life – or a temporary stop to reactionary chaos!

1. When asked a difficult question requiring you to make a significant decision; a fair response is:

a. “You have given me a lot to think about, can I get back to you next week?”

2. When criticism is tossed your way either in person or in email; consider this response:

a. “Thanks so much for letting me know how you feel. Why don’t I take a day or two to think about it and perhaps we could meet to see how we can find some common ground”

3. Lunch Hour / Meetings / Social gatherings with friends:

a. Take the Blackberry and turn off notices, or put it away or better yet, leave it in your car. There are few TRUE emergencies which occur that cannot be solved AFTER an hour or two. Being present in the moment is a great way to pause and re-energize.

4. When you’re asked to deliver something immediately in your already packed schedule; negotiate:

a. “You want that on Tuesday? Sorry I am jam-packed this week, will Thursday work for you?”

b. If it’s your boss, “Happy to get that to you, would you mind helping me prioritize the most important of the 3 tasks you need done right away and what can be put on hold?”

You are WORTHY of a pause, your time, your energy and your home-life are all worthy of taking pause. Stop temporarily; get back to people on major decisions; negotiate your time; be present in the moment; ask for help. All of these are strategies for maintaining authentic balance in your life.

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Strategic Sense is a Leadership Development, Plans of Action and Facilitation organization who’s mission is to change the world for leaders and their employees everywhere.  We believe each individual comes with their own unique talents and skills that can be enhanced and utilized to help them become the very best leaders only they can be.

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Notes From the Leadership Diva!

My last post ‘A Letter to the CEO’ drew a lot more attention than I expected!  The attention was from leaders and employees alike all saying the letter beautifully highlighted common issues within most corporate life.

This week I wanted to write a response to the letter, but interestingly enough I struggled with the manner in which the response should be delivered.  I then opened the discussion up with a collegue and she suggested a very good manner in which to approach responding.  Over the next few posts we are going to take you through the leadership development consulting for both the CEO and the employee in order to highlight ways in which the conversation for change can both begin and solutions can be formed…so stay tuned.

This struggle for delivering to you a solution packed with the kind of helpful and insightful means of addressing the letter (as if it were happening in a real company) took most of my week.  As a result the post is not quite ready for this weeks issue of Making Strategic Sense.  I do, however, have a wonderful treat for you from TED, an amazing speaker, Barry Schwartz who will provide some remarkable and commonsense suggestions for allowing practical wisdom back into our lives!

So many options… we’re here to accomodate you!
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Here!

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Strategic Sense is a Leadership Development, Plans of Action and Facilitation organization who’s mission is to change the world for leaders and their employees everywhere.  We believe each individual comes with their own unique talents and skills that can be enhanced and utilized to help them become the very best leaders only they can be.

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