Archive for mastery

Beware of Mediocrity

”Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” –Aristotle

Mediocre Beware of Mediocrity

 

He nestled snug inside his cheap blanket, not quite heavy enough to keep him warm, trying to digest the mediocre meal that wanted to return for a second swallow.  He had a big day tomorrow, and he needed sleep to get through it.  It’s not easy work avoiding the right thing, cutting corners and skirting responsibility, he only hoped the car would get him there.  His oil had not been changed and his gas tank was sitting on empty, but he hoped he would have enough to make it to the parking lot.  If not, walking is okay if it would give him an excuse to go in late and avoid the meeting with the boss.  He pulled the blanket up higher trying to keep warm as he thought about how he chose not to pay the heat bill this month because he kept forgetting to put his check in the bank.  Stupid banks anyway, they just want to take it all out in charges.

 


Do you know this guy? I sure hope he isn’t you, because living in the world of mediocrity is like sitting in a stagnant pond.  You’re wet alright, but rather than being clean and cool you’re trapped in slimy mud with parasites and mosquitoes coming in for the kill!  Not a pretty picture.

Successful people-and we are talking about true success not the money grabbing, walk-all-over-the-next-guy kind of success – truly successful people are able to lay on their deathbed knowing they did the right thing for their families, their companies, their associates and friends – these guys don’t do mediocre they leave a legacy. (And they are missed when they go.)

The person who skims by barely doing anything more than what’s absolutely necessary to maintain status quo is the most challenging employee. That kind of person frequents the motto, “Meh, it’s good enough,” and chooses to live well below their amazing potential.

Sometimes I wonder what made them decide to keep from wanting to feel the pride and glory of a job well done or seeing the response from a client whose expectations are exceeded.  There many be many stories, most of us will never know what holds some folks back, but imagine what it would be like if everyone did their level best to treat every task as though it was the best thing they’d had the pleasure of doing this week.  Are you giving your all?  Are you working your hardest to avoid mediocrity?

You may not know it, but it is simply a choice!

Try it today, just decide you can, and then do.

Shun mediocrity and adopt an attitude of excellence then show everyone around you what you’re really made of.

”Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.” –Ralph Marston


 

Patti Image.sm  Beware of MediocrityPatti Blackstaffe works with people and organizations to develop

Happy Workplaces world-wide guiding them toward mastery and leadership

through advising, coaching, speaking, and delivering training.

 

You can reach Patti at 1-855-968-5323 | contact her here | book her to speak


 

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Thriving Souls and Serial Victims

SerialVictims Thriving Souls and Serial Victims

image courtesy of Iwan Beijes, Netherlands

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim–letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.”

~C.R. Strahan

Observation in life has presented two significant types of victims to me…

Thriving Souls and Serial Victims

There are victims of many horrible situations, natural disasters, accidents, abuse, crime and violence.  The difference between the two types above is what happens after an event that defines a person’s character and most likely their success in life.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are difficult moments for everyone, no matter whom you are.  Moments when it is important to release and when tears or grief are appropriate and justified.  Everyone has times of pain, shock, horror, grief and sadness.  It is when that shock, horror, grief or sadness turns into a life-long pattern of repetitive sympathy and blame that it becomes self destructive.

So what are the differences between a Thriving Soul and a Serial Victim?

Thriving Souls:

  • Rebuild, reinvent, move forward, learn and grow such as a child abused who moves on to show the world what success really looks like
  • Attend counseling long enough so that they find peace and resolve to let the event live in the past
  • Forgive and understand others with strength and courage like the mother who forgives the killer of her own son
  • Exhibit resilience and tenacity in creating their own life
  • Turn the experience into positive actions forward
  • Are accepting that life is a series of hits, misses and falls that accompany the beauty, growth and love life has to offer
  • Know there are no ‘special happy folks’ who are without problems
  • Know that moving forward is hard work
  • Understand moving forward does not mean running away
  • Take full responsibility for their own actions and success
  • See events through the eyes and vantage points of others
  • Accept life and choose to use their energy for productive purpose
  • Learn from, support others and create proactive ways of helping solve issues as in the example of  the victim of a drunk driver whose mother also died as the result of a drunk driver and who now educates others on the impact
  • Recognize and see beauty and love in almost every event
  • Are creative masters of their own happiness using a positive approach to life

Serial Victims:

  • Find everyday life events difficult to deal with
  • Struggle with long-term relationships
  • Appear to suffer when they don’t get their own way (and make others suffer with them)
  • Relive the event in story form over and over with as many people as possible, bring their past into their present
  • Blame everyone else for all or most of their problems,( nothing is ever their fault)
  • Fly into tantrums or rage at neutral events which could easily be handled calmly
  • Invent what the intentions of others are – in order to hang onto a victim mentality
  • Seek sympathy or attention in an effort to get what they want
  • Tread water in self pity
  • Choose hatred or resentment in place of dealing with people or situations
  • Frequently run away from jobs, relationships and situations calling it “moving on” but always bringing their victim story with them
  • Live in a constant state of drama > blamed on others
  • Need to be ‘saved’ repeatedly from situations they get themselves into
  • See events only with their own interpretation refusing to hear or believe another viewpoint
  • Lack empathy for the feelings of others and can be more emotionally abusive than their alleged abusers
  • Believe people are out to get them, hurt them, cause them pain
  • Live in anger when forced to live with the consequences of their actions rather than change their own behaviour
  • Embellish events or mislead others with false facts or details
  • Will have their own idea of what forgiveness looks like and want to hold you to it (I recently read this post… Forgiveness: 7 Things It’s NOT! A great list for reference)

It is the Thriving Soul who teaches us how to live life.  None of us are targets for miserable unless we choose to make it so and there is no happiness outside of the things we choose to be happy about ourselves.

Being a Thriving Soul is hard work

Being responsible for one’s own actions, (seeing events from the viewpoint of another, learning to grow and evolve and accept that life will be difficult) is not the easy path.  But if life were easy, we would probably not have the amazing progress we have in medicine, human understanding and comfortable living.  If not challenged, we would rarely reach or stretch or seek better, stronger or more beautiful solutions, we wouldn’t need to.

“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I have made a choice to exclude serial victims from my life and learn from those Thriving Souls who know what love and life is all about.  It is my hope that I choose that positive approach, that I do the hard work of expending my energy toward taking responsibility for my actions and choices; owning and creating my life and owning it when things go wrong.

Do you know a Thriving Soul or a Serial Victim?

Patti Blackstaffe works with people and organizations to develop Happy Workplaces world-wide guiding them toward mastery and leadership through advising, coaching, speaking, and delivering training.

You can contact Patti at 403-201-8512 | email her at info@strategicsense.ca  | visit her speaking page at http://pattiblackstaffe.com


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